On a Cool Wind

Escaping the Comparison Trap: Part 4

Becka's fourth step in escaping this darn comparison trap is...

Step 4. Find whatever inspires you and start spending more of your time there.

To allow myself a positive form of internet distraction, I started branching out from my own creative genre. I’m a photographer, so to move beyond my niche, I added a bunch of personal, design, fashion and inspiration blogs to my reader. Only about 10% of the sites I follow currently are inside my own industry (just enough to keep me in the loop). I now love my time reading them and come away inspired instead of frustrated.

I'm kind of glad this series has taken this long because I happened across a book a friend had given me a couple of years ago that speaks perfectly to this. Technically it's a self-help book, but only technically.   And technically I've never read it all the way through, but for some reason I've found myself picking it up again and again. It's called Find Your Strongest Life by Marcus Buckingham. Words like passion or inspiration can be hard to describe sometimes, but I think he explains it so well.

Certain Moments in your life create in you strongly positive emotions- let's call these "strong -moments." Not all moments are strong-moments- some spark negative emotions, while some don't spark any emotions at all. But when you do experience a strong moment, it's authentic. It it true, in the sense that the emotions you feel are true. Pick an aspect of your life- work perhaps, or your kids, or your spouse- and now picture in your mind's eye a specific highlight moment from last week. Imagine the details of the moment: What were you actually doing- were you walking, sitting, listening, thinking? Were you- outside, in your favorite room in your house, in the shower, driving, or on the phone? Who was with you- a colleague at work, one of your kids, or were you alone? Put yourself right back into the vivid detail of the moment. Whatever you are picturing, it will be a vivid, detailed moment, and as you think about it now, you feel yourself change. You are sitting up a little straighter than you were a minute ago. Your shoulders are back. You've slowed down your breathing just a hair. Perhaps you are smiling. This moment, and the emotions you feel as you relive it in your mind, is you, in truth.

I would strongly recommend the book. Strong moments don't have to be profound or tied to our lives ultimate goal. My strongest moment from this week was eating lunch outside and reading Anne of Green Gables. It was just a moment when I felt content and engaged.

Also you can take the Strongest Life test which will tell you what roles will most fulfill you. This guy makes quizzes for a living so it's not one of those where you know which answers to choose to give you the role you want. It really gets to the core of who you are. My lead role was actually advisor, and my secondary role was creator. So it doesn't have to be tied to your job either. It's just what part of your life invigorates you and makes you feel strong.

Walk, Walk, Fashion Baby

It's that time of year when my mailbox is clogged with gigantic September issues. I was so excited to do this month's wallpaper. I figured it would be a huge mess of outfits, but what I ended up with was very simple. I like it though. There's so much going on this month that it will be nice to look at something sleek and clean. You can download this month's desktop wallpaper here. Enjoy!

Hallelujah

So I have a new job! In about a week and a half I will start as a graphic designer at my alma mater, Cameron University. I am very excited (in a way only Ron Swanson dancing in a mini top hat can describe).

In the interest of full disclosure and transparency I have to admit that it was not easy. I graduated three years ago and this was my first job offer in my field. I have applied for at least 100 jobs in the past three years, had four interviews, and now one offer. It's tough out there folks, and for a long time I internalized all the rejection. I never thought that the economy was bad so that's why I'm not getting hired. I thought I must not be very good at this that's why I'm not getting hired.

So if you're looking for a job and facing rejection, it's not all you (I don't know you so it may be you, but it's probably not). Continue to sharpen your skills and be the best _______ you can be. That's really all any of us can do.